the future of sex

with the political arena currently polluted by manipulation, shame and ignorance, it would seem we are coming to a head, so to speak, about how our future looks.  we are split down the middle in our extreme desires for controlling the destination of humanity.  on the one hand we have hot button's like the "woman's right to know" bill, also known as a woman's right to practice her patience while being piously informed on the potential prizes and pitfalls of her promising pregnancy, pushed by people who might beat their daughter for wearing a push-up bra, and would certainly beat their son for such behavior.  on the other hand we have hedonists who have learned to find balance in the orgiastic lifestyle of pursuing pleasure while raising brilliant families with open minds and new ideas in fruitful communities that accept all walks of life.  somewhere in the median lies the creative common consciousness.  aka:  our future.

i know that i will likely always reside in the leftist extreme of society, but i do know a few folks who are more comfortable living all the way to the right.  this causes me to attempt to atleast visualize a happy medium, even though i may never embrace it as a lifestyle.  within the realm of sexuality, we need new boundaries for affecting all the many aspects of life that our sexuality affects.  most in need of reform are media and education.  both of these factions are immense and profoundly affect our future by shaping our youth.

we can no longer afford to entertain people afraid of talking about sex with children, while we pump it down their throats on the boob tube.  we are currently living in a world where predators are spoon fed victims.  it is time to let go of the idea that subliminal sex is anything less than blatant programming.  the boundaries must envelop what has been learned about the brain - researchers are willing to share information with parents, as well as advertisers, so don't allow yourself to be complacently ignorant or you are a huge part of the problem.  did you know that the part of the brain activated by heightened action in movies (horror, explosions, suspense) is the same area stimulated by sex scenes?  the earlier you activate this part of the brain, the earlier you are inviting a myriad of attractions and interests.  my advice is to teach children how their brain works, as well as practices like meditation, breathwork and tantric yoga so that they might learn to harness and control their own natural, organic urges as they develop. 

we must also educate entire communities about the presence and proper treatment of sexual predators.  the signs of potential abuse are easy to read and communicate, once you know what to look for.  and for the record, incarceration nor castration solve the predator problem.  every predator is also a victim.  productive rehabilitation is founded on compassion and understanding the root of sexual issues.  it requires custom combinations of treatment modalities with progressive minds, creating a safe environment to address mental health; but that's a vast topic for another day.

regarding a more balanced sexual culture, the media could also choose to respect brain development, as well as the neuroscience of the adult brain, instead of using our brains against us, so to speak.  to respect the media's indomitable influence on the future and place that as a priority over the current state of the dollar when developing marketing resources would be an evolutionary jump.  stations could begin to explore finances that favor therapeutic and preventative solutions to optimum health over pharmaceutical solutions to a wealth of maladies:  locally grown food providers over fast food chains.  commercials for books and records as often as commercials for movies.  programming that raises the quality of life by expanding consciousness.  the explosion of programming does provide more choices and the real solution is choosing your media wisely.  choose to pay $10/month for netflix and avoid commercials all together.  choose to buy magazines that advertise products that strive to co-create a future you are aligned with.  conscious consumerism is the single most important thing you can do to level the playing field and save this country.  some might say save the world.

the highest future we can imagine values the common consciousness while celebrating the unique perspective.  it allows for each of us to live in the present moment and celebrate the bliss that becomes available in any given scenario.  this opinion breeds open mindedness beyond what some of us are currently capable of.  i prefer to respect the organic growth of attraction wherever it sprouts and explore the depths of mutual awareness.  the universe orchestrates nothing by coincidence and creates a fertile environment for constant evolution.  if we deny the things that transform us transcendentally, we deny our ability to evolve.  many presume hedonism is only about fulfilling the desire for physical pleasure, but pleasure begins and ends in the brain.  sometimes placing boundaries, even choosing monogamy, provide a bliss that is secure and comforting beyond physical companionship or orgasm, so i would prefer not to be misunderstood regarding my opinions on monogamy (closed relationship) vs. polygamy (open relationship) or the validity of either.

the future should cover obscene amounts of pleasure while respecting the innocence of the young and curious.  this is far more simple than some would have you believe.  the future must also provide acceptance for whatever defines pleasure for any individual at any point in their journey - provided, of course, that all shared activities are consensual.  there are a huge amount of human beings alive right now who are not able to experience pleasure - this void contributes to most of the maladies that plague our world culture.  i believe most of these blockages toward pleasure are the result of suppression, neglect or trauma experienced at an earlier time.  in our current culture, many people are plagued by elements of shame.  by definition shame denotes pain, the opposite of pleasure but often a stop along the way.  the body holds emotions like shame and allows them to affect our daily lives, much like a text book can contain lies that shape future generations.  most of us agree that our history defines our future.  i also believe that history can be redefined within the body.  i have experienced extreme healing by reprogramming physically stored memories that are causing chronic physical conflict/pain.  these are exercises that not only release pain, but in turn heighten pleasure.  in a form of make-believe, we can make what we choose to believe about a traumatic event and release ourselves from debilitating circumstances.  it will never change what happened, but it does change our physiological response to it.

our journey to sexual wholeness through the pleasure principal may have some surprising stops along the way.  some of you might mock the idea of what others find pleasureable.  i can give a myriad of examples of odd fetishes that you think you couldn't possibly wrap your mind around, followed by an explanation of how that fetish developed and develop such a sense of compassion in you, that you just might want to help that freak heal their way to ecstasy.  you might not, of course, but i've seen it happen.  let's take a mainstream example that usually brings extreme reaction - anal sex.  now if you bring up anal sex in a group of people, you'll see two faces - embarrassment mixed with disgust or horror and a few sheepish grins.  those who judge deserve to be taken - anally, of course. 

the reality of anal sex is two fold positivity that i hope i can explain without disturbing anyone.  the current statistics reflect that many of the people who crave it and find enjoyment of it, are attempting to heal.  they are scratching a justified itch, if you will.  a large percentage of those sexually violated were anally molested or penetrated. 

note:  one in three humans between the ages of 4 and 14 are sexually abused - that discludes cases like mine that began in infancy, as well as those that begin during  puberty, dismissing alot of step-parent/teacher/mentor scenarios that occur between ages 14 and 24.  also, it is becoming obvious that as many boys as girls are sexually compromised in their youth.  and with the example of anal sex, you have to include prison sex which encompasses a wealth of grown men, some of whom were never molested as children or young adults.  being anally penetrated without your consent is extreme trauma.  just in case anyone wasn't clear on that.

the body ultimately only releases physically stored trauma through reprogramming, so both receiving anal stimulation helps release stored trauma (by addressing an area of the body that is holding trauma in a loving and accepting way you provide cellular release of the blockage or stigma) and playing out your trespassers role in a different manner (with consent) can bring psychological peace.  if you can recreate something that was violent, like rape, or mentally compromising, like incest, and make it a peaceful and loving act then you have created an entirely new awareness around the event.  this includes acts that some might find violent or disturbing.  if your first sexual impulses were felt, involuntarily, when being stripped and spanked - this is not unusual in a generation where this disciplinary practice was common - then getting spanked can be a real turn on. 

let's take it even further - people who pee on one another freak you out, right?  how does it change your perspective to learn that the guys dad used to urinate on him in the middle of the night, drunk?  or that the girls mother beat her every time she had an accident over the age of five, so she would hold her bladder to extremes, even on road trips at the age of eleven or twelve because her father wouldn't pull off the road and her brothers had no trouble peeing in bottles.  so the conservative secretary with her shirt buttoned all the way up likes to pee on her attorney boyfriend in the shower - why do you care?  it has nothing whatsoever to do with you. 


understand that our sexual preferences are constantly changing throughout our lives.  something that turns you on like clockwork now may repulse you ten years from now.  something that you hated last week, may be your favorite activity by next month.  the universe cast seeds with purpose and when you're the gardener you get to reap what you sow.

in the past, present and future, one of the advantages to keeping a committed relationship that satisfies you sexually is that you have that safe place to explore your boundaries and let go of inhibitions while heightening your ability to experience pleasure.  nobody knows you quite like the person willing to explore your sexual boundaries on an ongoing basis.  in a more perfect world we could build these committed sexual relationships while giving one another the freedom to explore our attractions and reflect the talents of others.  in a perfect world, we would create safety while recognizing that variety is the spice of life.

which brings us to the second fold of my anal sex example, which should be making the entire topic less taboo on a daily basis.  that is the fact that without anal exploration of your male lover, you're never going to find the male g-spot.  on that note, i realize the g-spots deserve their own blog post.

i hope this discourse has atleast inspired you to think about the future of sex.  how to teach your kids about it, how to talk about it at a cocktail party, how to be overtly sexual without disturbing your neighbors.... whatever needs to happen, just don't leave sex out of the equation as it is a crucial factor of success.  there are a growing faction of people that would have you believe in places like hell and would like you to give money to a church and read the bible daily instead of visiting your local sex shop and devouring some tome on awareness and ecstasy while fantasizing with your lover.  they would have you believe that all they need is a few weekly (or monthly!) visits behind closed doors in the missionary position while their kids are at youth group or grandma's, when we all know that one or both of them has a secret stash of stimulators or a special steward on the side.  almost 60% of people admit to infidelity (54% of women, 57% of men) and that's the ones who are willing to admit it.  they can't all be leftist liberals or we would have control of congress. 

the truth is - i don't care what kind of closet you're living in, it's way past time to take down the doors.  know what you like.  talk about it.  be willing to listen and learn.  that's what i say anyway.  the future is upon us.  let the games begin!