what now?

how did we get to this place together?  there is noone left to talk me back from the cliff.  i will take what you have.  your naked need and the thoughts that haunt your clean, pristine existence.  i will take what i need to build something better.  this life where i am handed fish with disdain while i beg someone to teach me, is no longer enough.  i will teach myself to fish and until i have caught my own - i will barter for yours.  what will i barter with you ask?  i have many talents.  the actual question becomes, what are they willing to give up their fish for?  a clean house or tailored lawn, custom draperies or a new dress, healing massage or reiki....  they will give up a little for intoxication.  and sometimes more for some conversation.  they will give even more for sublimation.  and whatever you ask for gratification.  and i have no choice but to reflect their desperation.


your dice, your wad.  my own vice squad.


for years i've walked the line and danced in a ring of fire, but now my innocence is dead and i have my own desires.  i don't need your pity and i don't care for your disgust.  i will still be watching when you begin to rust.  i notice when you look at me from across a crowded room and i wonder when our paths will cross.  we could fuck in an alley at noon.  i hate the way i want you as you stagger out the door and wonder why we ever met and what that night was for.  you took my breath away and planted seeds of deprivation.  you cultivated cravings that reflect this dying nation.  secrets rife with greed and need and playing dangerous roles when open doors and open lives are the saviors for our souls.  so instead of cumming into your life willing to implore, i will cast myself as mistress mary, temporary whore.  you will be my passcode and i'll call out your name and none of them will realize their pawnship in our game.  don't deny your starring role, own your inspiration.  soon you will come to harvest the fruits of your creation.